This, too, is meditation, she thinks, as she bends forward, bracing her hands on Ronon’s chest, feeling his cock shift inside her when she tilts her hips, giving John better access to her backside. She is already slicked, stretched open, but the hard length of him is so much more than his careful fingers, and she bites her lip against the burn of it, digs her nails into Ronon’s skin as John pushes in and in and deeper still. There are drops of sweat running down her neck, tickling as they slide between her breasts, and she is trembling, every muscle in her body shaking as she tries to accept the intrusion, transform it into what she needs, what she has asked for. The merging of mind and body, like the perfect fight when conscious thought ceases to exist, when there is only now and here and the eternity in the moment. She reaches it sometimes alone - that calm, that clarity - sitting cross-legged and still on the floor, but more often, these days, it comes when she is sparring with Ronon, lost in the dance of their bodies’ movements, or walking beneath an unknown sky with these men she loves. And this, this always takes her there. In this act, all she can do is be.
Both of them, inside her, and she cannot move, she cannot breathe from the fullness of it. She knows that their members are not really touching, that they are separated by the thin veil of her flesh, but she cannot tell where John ends and Ronon begins within her, cannot distinguish one penetration from the other. All she can feel is the thick, solid heat of them splitting her open, filling her up, as if they could touch every part of her from the inside out.
It is too much.
It is not enough.
“Rodney,” she says.
He is there before she can close her lips around his name.
Standing in front of her, feet planted on the floor on either side of Ronon’s waist, hands so gentle in her hair. His cock silken and hard against her cheek. Ronon’s hands squeeze her thighs, and she lets go of him, reaches up to curve her fingers around Rodney’s hips. When she looks up into his eyes, he says her name like a question. She grins at him, wild and hungry, and answers with her lips around his cock. She does not know which one of them moans louder.
“Yeah,” John says, stroking down her back, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “Yeah, that’s it. Come on, Teyla. Just take it. You know you can take it.”
The words could be dirty, degrading, as she has heard them spoken in Earth pornography, but his tone is not. John is the one who knows. More often than not, he is the one in the middle, the one taking it, and meditation has never worked for him, but she has seen the peace in his eyes when his body is fucked open, taken out of his control and used almost beyond its limits. Rodney and Ronon would give her anything she asked, at any cost, but in this, John understands what she is asking. The softness of his voice in her ear makes something burst inside her chest.
She closes her eyes and starts to move.
So much sensation in the smallest motion, every shift of her hips, every slide of her mouth sending pleasure cascading through her, through them all, as if she is filled to the brim and overflowing, spilling outwards from the heart.
Later, perhaps, when she comes up for air, John will lean forward over her shoulder and suckle at the head of Rodney’s cock while she licks at his balls, needing to taste. Later, Rodney will reach down to fondle her breast, weighing it in his palm as he tells her in a rush of words how good she feels, how perfect, how he never thought he would find anything like this. Later, Ronon will thrust up into her, growling and clutching at her hips, unable to hold back with her tightness around him, with Sheppard’s cock pressed so close against his own. Later, at the end, John’s fingers will slip between her legs, and the moment will shatter as she breaks with her climax, pulling them with her, pulling them into her, deeper than their bodies will go.
But for now, they are still, they are silent, letting her take, letting her have, and she moves between them, around them, mind falling into body, existing here, existing now, free of things past, things future. Perhaps they are here, together, the four of them, only for a moment, but inside her the moment lies open to forever.
She smiles around Rodney’s cock in her mouth and lets herself be.
